Stress: My Silent Killer

“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.” George Burns

Well that’s easier said than done now isn’t it?!

Anyone that knows me knows I have suffered from stress and anxiety my entire life. Sadly those two terrible words have ran my life. Ironically they also have been the driving force to what successes I’ve had in my life.

Stress: My Silent Killer

I am the type of person that excels when I am on an intense deadline or given short notice. HOWEVER……the entire time I am so worried and anxious that I about kill myself. My entire college career can be summed up in one word…..procrastination. I would put things off until the last minute and when it was to the verge of impossible to complete….I would bust it out and even get a good grade. I have always done my best work at the last minute. But this isn’t a good way to be because it’s obviously stressful and terribly stupid.

It is a sick and vicious cycle.

Now that I am out of college and no longer have those deadlines I started doing this with my everyday life. Now not with bills or anything like that. I always make sure our bills are paid…because that’s not something to toy with.

Stress is slowly destroying me. I use the word “slowly” loosely because I can feel the effects it has on my body every day I wake up. From the moment I wake up I’m stressed all the way until I close my eyes at night.

I have always been a worrier. Sometimes I worry about things that don’t matter to a hill of beans. This is just in my nature….it sadly is normal for me. My husband is truly a blessing because he knows how to calm me down and rationalize everything for me. Sometimes it just takes him sitting me down and talking through what I’m worried about. It’s like there are times my brain cannot process things for itself and it goes into maximum overload and almost craps out on me lol.

From a religious standpoint stress is terrible! I should be able to lay all of my worries and stress at His feet and be done with it. But as a Christian I constantly fail at this. It is one of the things that I know I HAVE to work on.

From a health standpoint stress is terrible. Every day I feel the stress and worry wear down my body. The constant exhaustion, the crankiness, the body aches, the list could go on and on. What makes it even worse is the fact that I’m pregnant and not only adding this stress to me but also to my unborn child. I worry that she will be born with the same issues as me and that makes the whole situation worse!

From a relationship standpoint stress is downright horrible! I don’t know how my husband does it. He has the patience of Job! Dealing with me is not fun….I’m well aware. He is constantly finding ways to help de-stress me or bring me back down to earth. He has a gift….and without it I honestly don’t know if he would be able to deal with me. The stress and anxiety also puts a strain on relationships with other family members. I am known as the grouchy or rude one most of the time. I don’t mean to come off that way I just say exactly what I am thinking at the moment. Nine times out of ten I am stressed and irritable at any given point and whatever comes out of my mouth is not sugar coated.

I am always pulled into a million different directions. The fact that I am a perfectionist adds to my unnecessary stress and worry. I like for certain things to go the way I want….I am a woman and that comes natural sometimes.

When I spread myself thin I am unable to give any aspect in my life 100%. The stress and worry have me to where I don’t know if I give anything even close to 100%. I can sit here and say that I am always so exhausted that I am not giving my marriage 100%, I am not giving my kids 100%, I am not giving my job 100%, and I am not giving church 100%. This needs to stop!

I am being pulled into so many different directions that no aspect of my life gets 100% of my effort or attention. I try to do too much and I am getting nowhere.

Do I have an answer? Of course not! If I did I would have taken care of this mess a LONNNNGGGGG time ago! I know there are others out there that are in the same boat as me. We are sinking to the point where we are are about to drown. Plain and simple.

I know one thing though I have to start trying a little harder and kick the stress and worry right in the tail. I can’t continue to live like this because it’s not fair to myself or those that I love.

Stress is not final….it is not permanent. We CAN overcome this terrible feeling. I have faith we can :).

I will leave you with this:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:6-7 NIV

Kirstie

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